Stephanie Blocker

Stephanie fiercely loved her family and friends. Her children were her pride and joy, and later she was so proud to become a grandmother. She was married for over 40 years to the father (James) of her two children, James Deric and Sara. She will be missed by 5 grandchildren: Isaac, Grace, JJ, Nathan, and Briana. She is also survived by her mother, Billie Joyce, two siblings, Eric and Morgana, and her nieces Tamrin and Jaclyn.

She made friends wherever she went and was involved in different artist groups across the world, but she always had a special place in her heart for her friends at Leaky Acres and the City of Fresno Water Division. She moved to Illinois about 10 years ago, and for her, that is where her heart felt complete peace and healing. She loved her "little farm" in Jacksonville, called The Swearingen Farm. She cherished her time there and all the solitude to express her creativity, but also the new friends and newly found family it provided to her.

She found treasured moments in everyday life-from the little animals that played on her property, to cooking, quilting, digging up rocks, listening to music way too loud in her car, watching the night sky, playing fetch with her pup, camping in the desert as the wind tossled her tent, making spooky decorations for Halloween, being in the solitude of the forest, painting, thunderstorms, photography, old cars, and playing Dominos with her family. She loved it all. She was so vibrant and full of life. And the world is a little less bright without her in it.

The following is something Stephanie wrote in 2000, a sort of "self-obituary."

Outside observers would probably say that my main achievements have been speedy driving and outrageous behaviors. For myself, I am most pleased and proud of in life are my children, [grandchildren], my friends, my love for the simple things (like nature, music, arts, words) and my opportunity to share them all. I've always loved to learn. Some of the most important lessons I have learned in my lifetime are: do your worst first and your best last; chaos rules-so do it now and make it fun; your children are every potential coming true.

During my lifetime I have used my imagination, sense of humor, chaos, writings, friendships, and work in a way that now I realize was helping to generate a world in which people will have a sense of awe and wonder.

The people I have felt closest in my life have been... well, I think you know who you are by now (you better know!).

One generalization I could make about the quality of my relationships with others is that I have appreciated all the diversity I've been exposed to.

If I regret anything, it's that I've been too untouchable, unyielding, deliberately distanced.

If I had known how short a time I had left to live, I would probably have spent more time helping my children [and grandchildren] develop their gifts.

I've been so very blessed... HONESTLY... to have each of you share my life with me. You've kept me young in heart and spirit. Help my children [and grandchildren] to continue finding the magic and excitement of life in my honor, please!

Promise me this, man or woman, it is not sexual harassment to put your arm over a co-workers shoulder and smile - DO IT! If you play music, write, sing, hunt, fish, ski, climb, run, paint, garden, drive fast, get crazy, or do any other of the simple treasures we are ALL gifted with, share those, too! I'LL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU IF YOU DON'T... BELIEVE IT!!

To those people I have held on the back of my hand, you, in your arrogance, have allowed me to realize how strong I can be... for that I am obliged to thank you. I've always thrived on challenge! I only wished I could have had a more positive effect on you... for that I apologize and am truly sorry. I wished I were a more affective, instead of infective, personality. Yes, I mean infective, like some rare disease. The disease of a fun-loving, work hard, I have all I really need, kind of life.

God allowed me to enter this world in innocence, and He'll allow me to leave that way. Of that I'm sure, as sure as I am of His unconditional love... and His sense of humor. Haven't I been proof of that?

-Stephanie "Essy" Blocker